D3 body, D1 cock
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
