I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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