who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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