I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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