So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
