I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
