Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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