Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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