i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize