you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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