i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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