...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize