We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
