I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
