i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize