my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
