she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize