i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize