I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
