Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
