I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
