Dual....:-)
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
