I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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