we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
