just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
