i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
