Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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