dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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