I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
