She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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