its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
