Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
