Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize