YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
