We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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