It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
