It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize