Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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