i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
