We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
