it was like his penis was on wheels.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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