I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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