she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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