I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
