Can i not drive my cunt home
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize