i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You are a genius and a whore.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
