I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just forgot I was standing up.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
