you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
where are my eyebrows?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
