All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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