No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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