I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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