Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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