what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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