don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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