is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Is that strawberry winking at me??
we should paint friendship bongs
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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