Having a random hookup so left but love u
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
