Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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