No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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