actually, I'm a sock model
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
