i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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