Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
