just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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