Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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