I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
