the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
